


Wires and Clockwork

by redseeker



Category: Seihou Bukyou Outlaw Star | Outlaw Star
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-16
Updated: 2006-05-16
Packaged: 2019-01-27 06:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12575508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redseeker/pseuds/redseeker
Summary: Melfina wonders if what she and Harry feel is love, or if it's even real at all.





	Wires and Clockwork

“I’m glad you’re here,” he says. He’s clinging onto me as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear, just fade away like a shadow in the sun. “I love you.”

It’s strange, the vague rush of warmth those words trigger, right here, where my heart would be. Is this how humans feel?

“How can you know that?” I say, turning my head to look down at him. His eyes are closed, that brilliant blue hair falling over his face. He’s so beautiful. It feels like something's blocking my throat, something hot and stinging. Is this something living people feel? Or is it just some malfunction in my system?

His eyes open and he looks up at me. One of his arms is slung over my waist, as though to stop me from floating away into space. He frowns. “What do you mean?” 

We’ve been through this before. I think my insecurities are starting to get to him. I’ve tried to explain to him… to explain that we can’t know whether what we’re feeling is love, or if it's even real.

“Melfina…” His eyes are gentle, and a small, sad smile slips onto his lips. “Why do you keep on doubting me?”

Something cold, here in my gut - a kind of wrenching just at the thought that I’m in some way letting him down, that he thinks that I think he’s not good enough.

He shifts and slides up the bed until we’re face to face. He cradles the side of my face with one hand, kissing me with reassuring gentleness. Even when I’ve seen the worst of him, seen him driven mad out of devotion for me, his touch is still something safe. His lips are warmer and softer than you might imagine. They feel almost like a human’s.

“Melfina, all I’ve done for you…” His voice isn’t accusing. He’s not angry, just sort of sad… and that’s somehow worse. My throat feels sore for a moment, and there’s an unpleasant pricking feeling behind my eyes. “I’ve died for you. That’s not love?” His eyes are searching, and I find myself chewing the inside of my lip while I search anxiously for a reply.

“But… how can we…?” I begin, but realise I don’t have an argument.

“Who cares if we feel differently to other people? …We’re more than just wires and clockwork. Surely you know that better than anyone? I don’t know what Starwind felt for you…” The name leaves me cold, and I have to close my eyes to miss the look of pain that ghosts across his face at the mention of Gene. “Or how exactly feelings like this are supposed to work. We’re not like them… But I say that doesn’t matter. I know what I feel.” And he always has, hasn’t he? “I know that my throat catches when I look at you, because you’re so perfect that I don’t deserve you. I know that the thought of hurting you, the thought I might ever have hurt you in any way makes me feel sick and cold and wretched. I know that to see you sad is just too unbearable.”

I feel like I’m frozen, even as warm realisation seeps into me like light. “And now look at me,” he says, “and tell me we’re not the same.”


End file.
